I didn't choke.
The last few weeks I stuck to the plan, reduced volume, was getting rested, sleeping well and going hard during the workouts. It was a legit taper/peak period. After mountain biking all year my technical riding was significantly better than last and I was far more efficient. I made an effort to walk, stretch and eat well so that I didn't drop weight due to anxiety the weeks leading up to the race, unlike the year before. Friends were asking me about the race and my response was that I genuinely only wanted to race a race that was to my highest capability and walk away from it knowing I did my best, which is something I had not been able to do the previous two years.
I did not think I could beat Devin if he decided to show up, which I figured he would. I assumed that his technical ability would have improved since last year and that even a technical course at Vlasis wouldn't shift enough in my favor. One thing I did not want was an *asterisk* result and as the race approached wasn't seeing any of the stronger competitors from StL or KC that don't usually race in StL, or StL guys that could pop into the masters race that don't usually do it. I was over confident in 2022 and lost a race I should have won because I choked, and since Anthony wanted to win the overall series and the trip to AZ, there was that asterisk as *first MO rider for the winner. I figured Devin would race twice as he likely assumed it was a sure thing and it was unlikely he would podium in the A race, but saw he registered for the A race and didn't appear to be doubling up. Anthony was headed to Chicago and it looked like the KC guys weren't coming. As much as I wanted to win, I wanted it to be validated and did not want an out of state rider in front of me on the results. Had I not been challenged by someone like Devin, the result would not have had the same weight.
Devin showed up and registered the morning of. I can't say it didn't rattle me since I wasn't expecting him, so I committed to going all in, instead of the slightly more defensive approach I was considering. The course wasn't too technical but it had a significant amount of climbing and I thought he would be able to separate himself in the fields and on the climbs because it was a lot of power. I didn't pick up on it as much in warm ups but there were 3 distinct recovery sections that separated the very hard sections, which is always a good thing for me. Extended flat power was not and this course was either very fast leading into tech sections, or climbing with difficult off camber and switchbacks. The weather was perfect, I was feeling good (even though I had been up since 3 am) and there was a good mix of anxiety and ritualistic calm. Harre and Morgan were in the 50 plus so I had a pretty good idea of what was coming.
I went hard from the gun, fishtailed like a mofo through the first corner and took off. I was riding frenetically, as usual, and there was a gap immediately. My breathing was rhythmic, borderline asthmatic sounding, which is always a good sign when I can get into that rhythm. I was charging and not looking back. I don't think Devin ever made it onto my wheel and was amazed at the gap I opened up in a short period of time. Looking at the numbers, my NP for lap one was 317 and 273 avg for the race. It was decisive and I had 8 seconds on Devin before we hit the sand on the first lap. The first lap was about 5:38.
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Harre caught me on the second lap in the field and it went from frenetic to steady. It felt like he was riding a slower pace than I wanted and it was the slowest lap of the race at around 5:53, but the next lap was slightly faster at 545 and the gap to Devin kept growing. By mid race I had over 30 seconds. Harre kept pacing me. Synchronized cyclocross. After going all out for the first few laps and the legs locking up with lactate, I was able to utilize the recovery sections and they opened and was overcome with that slowed down feeling was the one that comes when you're flying and seeing everything perfectly, more common to me on a mtb or skiing, and it was awesome. I would get gapped but somehow manage to catch back on and hang on to the pace he was setting. There were a few dabs and I ran return section of sand on the second lap, but it was a very clean race and we were fucking flossing the decent to the sand pit, rooster tailing out of the sand.
With 2 to go I had over a minute gap to Devin, was still with Harre and realizing things were going well, but trying to concentrate on remaining focused. I expected Chris to drop me at that point but he didn't and we were cruising. As it turns out, the last 4 laps were almost identical power, speed and time. He is the master of pacing. When we hit the return section of sand on the last lap I dabbed, Chris kept going and that was that. There was absolutely no way I would have even tried to attack him anyway (technically we're teammates now). I celebrated for the first time all season. It was utter joy. I felt total validation in the victory, largely due to facing off with one of my biggest competitors when it mattered and succeeding as well as riding with a guy who finished 2cd at Nationals last year after a last row start and I view as on another level. I finished over a minute and a half in front of Devin. There is no doubt in my mind that had we been racing head to head it would have been different, but riding with Chris was also a huge accomplishment.

I haven't really done this for any other races but am curious.
Lap NP/AVG Speed
5:38 317/303 11.7
5:53 279/255 11.2 (ran sand)
5:45 272/244 11.4
5:49 266/240 11.2
5:49 252/236 11.2
5:49 265/241 11.2
5:49 267/240 11.2
The backstory/2024 season wrap up journal.
I've always chased State Championships. Regardless of the significance, it is an easy goal to put on the calendar and work towards. I've won a few cross country mountain biking jerseys, a SS MTB jersey, a road jersey and a cyclocross jersey. The CX jersey was in 2007 as a Cat III, my first year racing CX. Unfortunately, it was the ice storm CX in Hermann and didn't fell totally validated given the field size, even though I finished 3rd behind Josh and Nate, it lit the fuse and I made it a goal for the next year. I had an amazing season racing mountain bikes with some huge wins on the regional level and a podium at Nationals, but never won a CX race and ended up 5th at the State Championships in Hermann, the one year that both the KC and STL guys squared off. In 2009 I won a MTB State Championship in a hot field but the rest of the season was a little bit of a reset after racing so much the year before and I had just met my future wife, so I also had a shift in priorities. I came into CX season more rested and didn't win a race all season but had a great ride at States and ended up 3rd behind Josh and Shottler, both of whom were dominant at the time. I got married in 2010, didn't race much over the summer due to my wedding, my best friends wedding and my honeymoon in the end of September really didn't race much CX, then I stopped riding bikes for 10 + years.
In 2021 my nephew came to visit and do some Bubba races in October. I watched one race and knew I needed to get back into it. My daughter was now 9, my wife and I weren't working weird schedules like we did to avoid using day care and I bought a bike on a Tuesday, rode once or twice and raced twice that next weekend. I did 4 more C/B races and then lined up for the masters States race and finished 7/12. The goal for the jersey was set for 2022 and, even though the only race I won all year when Anthony was out of town, I finished 2cd to him every race and given that he was not a MO rider knew I had a good shot. The weekend before I raced who I assumed would be my biggest competitor, Jason Douglas from KC, and put close to 2 mins into him. All signals were looking good but on race day I completely choked and could not perform at a level close to where I had been. It was all mental/stress/anxiety related and just took too much of a toll. Anthony raced to win the points overall and trip to AZ, Jason won the jersey in a close race and I ended up with a *asterisk* second MO rider. I was pretty much devastated but it was motivating because I could taste how close it had been.
I committed myself to a legit training plan, trained way more over the winter after ski practice, and was seeing huge gains. I was fit when the season rolled around and Devin Glenn showed up as a fresh 40 year old masters racer and was capable of laying down far more power than I could, but technical courses and his ride hard all the time methodology were level setting to some extent. I finished 2cd to him 5 times and won 4 times going into States. If the track at Sylvan was a more technical one I thought my chances were decent, which it wasn't, and once again, I choked. I had a good start and went completely backwards for two laps before righting the ship to some extent and finishing 30 seconds or so behind Devin. There was a strong KC rider so there was the *asterisk* of 2cd MO rider again, but the reality was I wasn't competitive at all and got smoked. I took it hard and lost a lot of motivation.
Over the winter we were skiing a lot and I started a TV room project in the basement and rode little to none for over 2 months. I wasn't really processing it at the time, but realized how much it impacted me when seeing numbers relative to the same time the year before and started working hard in March. By the time States rolled around the previous two seasons I was feeling a little cooked so my plan was to start racing CX a little later and shift all the training back a few weeks and work on the timing. I rode a lot of gravel from March-June and was getting a little bored with it and it hit me one day that I needed something different and talked my wife into letting me get a mtb. I bought the bike a day or two before going on vacation. I had ridden a lot up to our annual trip to Key West in mid June and it was going to be a long 10 days off, so I brought running shoes. I didn't run a ton on the trip but when I did I ran pretty hard. I didn't realize it at the time but it was basically a mini rest-peak period. We got back, I finished 4th in my first Cat 1 mountain bike race since 2010 two weeks later and won a hard, hot race with solid competition a week or so after that. The rest of the summer I raced XC as much as possible, did long mtb rides to work on the technical skills and a few short track races. It was so refreshing to have a new outlet and I was having more fun than ever racing. There was very little anxiety, which was weird and I was doing pretty well.
I did some structured training over the summer as well, but mainly was in maintenance phase since I was racing so much which I continued through the third week in September because I couldn't pass up the One Eyed Dog (2 lapper) and a return to one of my most hallowed racing tracks at Council Bluff. I took another 7 days off to go back east and visit my family and fish. Even though I snuck in a few runs it was pretty bad timing to take that much off the bike, but the silver lining was it would be pushing the season back and sticking to the plan.
I was feeling the CX program kicked in and training through races in a way I never had before. I wasn't seeing numbers close to the previous year in racing, and without Devin or Anthony in attendance, I was winning and not being tested. My rest week was before Faust so I hoped to see improvement to the data. Unfortunately, Anthony showed up on day one. It was a total slog, I was ultra flat physically after a full five days without intensity and I literally flatted mid race to further the suffering. I finished 3rd but it was extremely hard. The next day Anthony didn't show up, I went from the gun and put down a top 3 performance compared to the last 3 years, solo from the gun. The only motivation was personal. The rest of the races were wins but I didn't come close to that performance and without the weekly testing from Devin or Anthony was feeling that I was at probably 90% of where I was the year before. The last race, Snowy St Vincent, Anthony and I had another great race and although I ultimately lost, I had the legs to close down a big gap mid race, attacked and put time into him at a critical point on the second to last lap but blew it when I couldn't clip in for the whole last lap. It was refreshing and fun and I was more confident but still totally uncertain and not confident I could ride at a level to win the jersey if any of the top guys showed up... to the top.